People having a tantrum in public.

It’s hilarious, but don’t look at it. Yesterday I was getting a haircut and there was this guy who had a “big important meeting” and Thuh, his hair cutter somehow screwed up, and that guy who was pissed off was an idiot. His hair wasn’t what he wanted but oh my god, you don’t need to stand up and scream “Where’s the manager! I need to have a serious talk with the manager that frakking idiot, they should have never hired this employee!”. Well, it turns out that the person who cut his hair WAS the manager.

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My new gravatar and the internet stereotypes behind it

Yeah, based on my gravatar you can tell I’m a Firefox user who has the ability to create graphics and has an extreme amount of hate for Internet Explorer. I know nobody is reading this, but what does your gravatar say about you?

Interview with a creationist- script (Sorry if I offend you) Updated!

The following has been rated IDOL ROTS LOSS for
Intensely
Democratic
Overtly
Liberal
(Politics)

Religious
Offense
To
Some

Lots
Of
Stupid
Stereotypes

Me: So, -insert creationist’s name here-, what’s your take on evolution?

Creationist: I believe we were and are the lord o’mighty’s creations, made to roam the Earth 4,600 years ago.

Me: What about carbon-dated bones that date back to 7 million years ago?

Creationist: When god created the Earth, he created the elements we have today, however, the Lord O’Mighty never created carbon! Carbon is the element of the devil! EVIL CARBON!

Me: You know, if carbon is the “Devil’s element” that means your skin is made up of the “Devil’s element”.

Creationist: Well, carbon is responsible for global warmin’!

Me: What about oil? Oil is ancient animals that have deteriorated into raw energy from millions of years ago.

Creationist: The Lord O’Mighty created this world and everything around us, except for carbon! Oil is an insignificant excuse for people to use as the cause of global warmin’! Global warmin’ just God’s punishment to Man’s irresponsible use of his allpowerful creations!

Me: What about pollution? Some power comes oil, infact, most power comes from oil! When oil is burned to make energy, massive amounts of pollution are released into the air, causing global warming.

Creationist: In the final day, when god created this wonderful world as a gift to man, he forsaw our irresponsibility with technology to come. He gave us a punishment to teach us the values of the Holy Book of Truth, the BIBLE!

Me: You realize there is no way you’re going to win this debate, right? The writer can’t let you win because of his own beliefs.

Creationist: ARE YOU SAYIN’ THERE IS SOME UNHOLY FORCE BEHIND THIS FIGHT CONTROLLIN’ EVERYTHIN’ I SAY?!

Me: Well, in a way, yes.

Creationist: Fine, I surrender to this “Unholy force”.

Me: See, I’m never wrong.

Creationist: You unholy disbeliever! You ain’t believin’ in the Lord O’Mighty and deserve to go to his prison!

Me: Okay, moving on now.

Me: Okay, -insert creationist’s name here- what do you think about education?

Creationist: We should be teachin’ children o’ the world the values of christianity and how it’s right! Not teachin’ them the borin’ stuff we had to live through as a kid.

Me: Okay. I believe we should teach kids some of the good values of christianity, just not by doing that thing where we read out of the bible to teach them. Me, being a half-jew, believe that it could offend some kids of a different religion; While teaching them the important stuff like reading, writing, arithmatic, etc.

Creationist: ARE YOU SAYIN’ YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN THE LORD O’MIGHTY!

Me: No. I’m saying that some kids… *Creationist interrupts*

Creationist: WHAT?!!!!?! ARE YOU SAYIN’ SOME KIDS AREN’T BELIEVERS OF THE ONE HOLY TRUTH!

Me: Yes, some kids are jewish or other religions, and don’t have the EXACT SAME BELIEFS as you.

Creationist: YOU ARE AN ABOMINATION TO THE LORD O’MIGHTY HIMSELF! NOT BELIEVING IN HIS LAWS, NOT BELIEVIN’ HIS VALUES!

Me: Let me repeat myself as I did earlier in the interview. THE WRITER IS DOING HIS BEST TO MAKE YOU LOOK STUPID AND I HAVE TO WIN BECAUSE HIS POLITICS AND BELIEFS DO NOT MATCH YOURS AND HE BELIEVES YOURS ARE INTOLLERANT AND IGNORANT!

Creationist: So this unholy force is an abomination to the Lord O’Mighty?

Me: In your intollerant ignorant eyes, yes.

Me: Well, it was a great interview.
*Shakes hands*
*Creationist yanks me to the ground*

Me: Ouuh my god! FFFFFFFFFahhhhhhh crap! Ouuh my god!

Creationist: YOU ARE AN ABOMINATION TO THE LORD O’MIGHTY HIMSELF! THAT IS THE LEAST I AND ALL BELIEVERS IN THE TRUTH CAN DO!

Creationist: PS, Steven Colbert HAS been telling me what I think for 3 years. Steven Colbert is the greatest politician ever!

Writer’s notes:
This was pretty fun to write. Especially the creationist part. Just contradict all of my politics and religious beliefs and put “The Lord O’Mighty!” into as many lines as possible. Also, this one is pretty obvious but there was a pretty “Hit you over the head” sorta environmental message in there.

Fox news “DEMOCRATS ARE BAD, CONTROLLING PEOPLE WHO WANT A BIG POWERFUL GOVERNMENT WITH ALMOST NO FREEDOM AND HIGH TAXES WITH LEGAL GAY MARRIAGE AND ABORTION AND REPUBLICANS ARE BRILLIANT PEOPLE WHO WANT TO MAKE AMERICA A BETTER PLACE WITH SUPERIOR POLITICS” tricks and other things that piss me off about Fox News

OH MY GOD. They are as follows:
Have a “street poll” with 3 “average” Americans, all of them being republican one saying “McCain was irresponsible for picking Palin as his VP, so I choose Obama.” and the other two saying that they support McCain. To show that TWO TO ONE! MCCAIN MUST BE THE BEST POSSIBLE CHOICE BECAUSE 2 / 3 “AVERAGE AMERICANS” WANT HIM TO WIN! HE WASN’T STUPID FOR PICKING PALIN; 2 / 3 “AVERAGE AMERICANS” WANT HIM TO WIN!

Have a little poll that says:
The results for our poll, “Do you want a larger more powerful government or a smaller government, with less power” were 66% percent of all Americans want a smaller government with less power. 66% of responders were republicans, 33% of responders were democrats. CLEARLY ALL DEMOCRATS ARE EVIL AND WANT A BIG POWERFUL GOVERNMENT BECAUSE THE OTHER 33 PERCENT OF RESPONDERS WERE DEMOCRATS!

Have a “Body Language” short:
“Today we look at Obama’s meeting with George Bush. Well, -Body language “expert” ‘s name here- what do you think? Well, look at this. See Obama’s hand gestures and behavior in this clip here? He’s showing aggression, like RAAAAR I’m more powerful and I’m aggressive and you are weak! ”

Fox News thought process: SEE! DEMOCRATS ARE VICIOUS AND POWER HUNGRY PEOPLE THAT SHOULDN’T BE PRESIDENT!

Things that piss me off about Fox News:
The slogan:
“Fair and Balanced”? WTF. Did you not read what I just said?
DEMOCRATS ARE BAD, CONTROLLING PEOPLE WHO WANT A BIG POWERFUL GOVERNMENT WITH ALMOST NO FREEDOM AND HIGH TAXES WITH LEGAL GAY MARRIAGE AND ABORTION AND REPUBLICANS ARE BRILLIANT PEOPLE WHO WANT TO MAKE AMERICA A BETTER PLACE WITH SUPERIOR POLITICS, as Bill O’reilly wants to scream in your face.

New pic!!

I tried a new technique. Auroras. Result:

My newly learned aurora technique!

My newly learned aurora technique!